No one truly enjoys the process of getting a divorce. First of all, it is always sad to think about people who thought they would be together forever, fall out of love. Couples, or ex-couples, will find themselves arguing over minute details. In the end, they will receive mediation from someone who did not even know them when they were still together. The judge normally splits their assets in half unless they signed a prenuptial agreement. The truth is that arbitration is not always fair since one side normally put in more work than the other did. Divorces might be sad affairs, but you will see just how hilarious they can also be!
Literal Half
This man clearly did not agree with the divorce ruling given by the judge. The smart-alec had no choice but to give the former partner half of his possessions. He decided to follow this ruling down to a tee and then take his grievances to eBay. He put up half of everything that ended up going to him… literally. We are sure none of his friends expected him to go this far, but that only makes it that much funnier in our humble opinion!
Literal Half
TV Set Like No Other
Using the moniker Der Juli, the German wrote that “watching TV alone is already depressing enough” when he was marketing half of his Samsung TV. “The device is very compact and has several inputs, but am not sure whether they all work,” he even added. We have to admire the way he chose to look at the bright side! If you are interested in buying this relic, please use your common sense and do not plug anything into a halved television set. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
TV Set Like No Other
Art Installation Chairs
The next item up for sale was half of this set of chairs. We do not know where the table is, but we doubt this would make for comfortable seats. Are you under the impression that a set of four half-chairs would be useless? Let’s see what Der Juli had in mind. “The chairs are super as an art installation,” he stated. While modern furniture pieces look more futuristic now, this could pass for a modern art exhibit as well.
Art Installation Chairs
His Side Of The Bed
Nope, not even the items in their bedroom were safe from this madman. Der Juli also halved the things in there, although it should not have come as a surprise from what we know of him. For couples, the bedroom is the one place that reminds them of each other. We doubt a normal person would like to keep the bed they shared, especially if their ex-spouse cheated on them with a coworker. “Unlike my ex-wife,” Der Juli wrote, “I cannot say anything bad about the bed, really, have always slept well in it.”
His Side Of The Bed
Broken DVD Player
Do you think a DVD player like this one will help you play the DVDs, or their remains after you step on them without meaning to? We only hope that whoever ends up buying this would know better than to actually try this experiment! “Whoever wonders where the second half is may want to check with my ex-wife,” he wrote. In all honesty, we do not think it would work any better if you had the other piece…
Broken DVD Player
We’re Halfway There
They say that you will never forget how to ride a bike once you get the hang of it. If you want a real challenge, this might be up your alley. This bad boy is compact and will go downhill just fine. “The wheel moves despite minor limitations,” read the description, “and the front brake engages perfectly.” On top of that, it even comes with some awesome shock absorbers. Truly, this sounds like such a steal. The starting bid for the item had been a single euro so what’s stopping you from shooting your shot?!
We’re Halfway There
Still Alive But Bear-ly Breathing
Oh, this one tugs at our heartstrings. How sad is this? While it is always tragic to see couples fighting over their belongings, this one is especially tragic. However, we do not see any use in getting just half of a stuffed toy. The teddy bear has become a ghost of its former self after it underwent an operation from Der Juli himself. Here was what he said about the weird, fuzzy fragment of cloth: “There’s no need for cuddling stuffed animals – for such things, there are affectionate co-workers.”
Still Alive But Bear-ly Breathing
Records For A Former Lover
“I offer here, in my opinion, the best REM album… ‘Everybody Hurts’ (how true !!!) and ‘Nightswimming’ are the best passages on it yet,” he said using the account. These songs were significant to him and his ex, so he decided to split up the songs, right down the middle, when they split up. We are sad to report that it did not come with half a record player for you to play it on. Come on, Der Juli, where is it?
Records For A Former Lover
The Price Is Right
This one is the most impressive of all the things he put up for sale on eBay. Can you believe that he went and sawed this car in half? “The car is quite well preserved for its age, but there are some signs of wear. In particular, half is missing,” he said. Some Redditors pointed out how half of a car would already cost a lot more than one euro. However, some people said a euro was way too high a price to charge for even half of an Opel Corsa!
The Price Is Right
Punny Phone
Here was the funny caption that went with this object: “It’s the perfect phone for people who do not like to make calls”. Der Juli does not need a working one since dating is now done on smartphones. Back in the day, however, people used to wait by the phones all night in anticipation of a call from their lovers. This is nothing more than a relic in this day and age. Besides, you can’t make a call with that keypad unless the number just so happens to be a combination of 3,6 and 9.
Punny Phone
The Good Half
It was a good thing that the stipulation said he should give her half of his belongings. Therefore, Der Juli had the opportunity to pick what he got to keep. During their marriage, he and his ex laughed along to the German sketch comedy troupe Bullyparade. These days, the jokes leave nothing more than a bitter taste in his mouth. “Unfortunately, I can offer only half… But no matter, I have made sure that the best sketches are on my half,” he said. We’ll be the judge of that.
The Good Half
Sofa Sans Segment
My, the vintage couch here might make for a great addition to your house. It is ideal for people who want to save on space. It has recently become more fashionable to buy compact furniture, so this is your chance to keep up with interior design trends. “In recent years, I’ve spent many beautiful evenings on this sofa with my woman,” the seller said. “She did not find the evenings so beautiful, which is why my ex-wife now sits on another couch.”
Sofa Sans Segment
Half An iPhone
We bet Steve Jobs is rolling in his grave after this! It makes us cringe to see this, but it is nothing more than a case of debugging for Der Juli. For a guy like him, this fix proved to be a great convenience. “It is considerably smaller and more manageable,” he even boasted of the result. “In addition, you will finally be at peace with this phone: It is guaranteed not to ring and vibrate and will not play music.” You do you, we guess!
Half An iPhone
A Lighter Macbook
As you probably know already, the iPhone is not the only thing that Apple makes. Even before the company ventured into the world of smartphones, Apple was a big name in the computer world. The price has always been on the pricier side, which is what led to the rise of Microsoft and other reasonably-priced competitors. “In my opinion, this conversion is the perfect solution for users who want to save space, but can not afford a MacBook Air,” he said. Well, he isn’t lying about that!
A Lighter Macbook
Splitting The Mail
Of course, one should not forget about the mail when you split up. Der Juli knew it was important to handle this matter before all was said and done. Der Juli kept the tax returns, while his cheating former wife got the bills. Hey, the judge did not say how they were supposed to split things up, only that they needed to do so. Kidding aside, it seems like he had the say on which things went to whom…
Splitting The Mail
The Incomplete Closet
It was far easier to divide the closet between them since he wore his clothes and she wore hers. However, the furniture was a lot harder to deal with. They had a single closet for their clothes, and it only came with one bar for them to hang things from. You might think that it would be hard to split the closet and hanger bar in half, but Deri Juli is one talented one. He is crafty, that is for sure.
The Incomplete Closet
Helmet For Him And Her
If you want a helmet that will keep you safe on the road, you should look for another one. Should you decide to use this one instead, the good thing is that emergency medical personnel can identify you right away when you get in trouble. “From my half, I must now separate, fond memories you cannot remove,” he wrote in reference to Laura, his ex. You should also check out the video he put up so you can see how he managed to divide everything into two equal pieces.
Helmet For Him And Her
Watch The Video
This resentful man made sure to document himself in the act of dividing the belongings between him and his ex-wife. Yup, you can watch how he split the car and other objects into two! At least he has proof that he made sure to equally split their things. The video went up on YouTube under a channel with the same name as the eBay seller, Der Juli. In the video, he addressed his ex: “Thank you for 12 ‘beautiful years,’ Laura! You’ve really earned half. Greetings also to my successor.”
Watch The Video
How He Did It
The video went to show us the process of literally splitting everything in half, which is more complicated than you might think. We doubt you have any idea just how many tools and materials he needed to accomplish such an extraordinary task! He cannot use the same piece of equipment to cut through foam and metal. Der Juli must have been so thrilled to get the opportunity to use all the cool power tools hiding in his shed.
How He Did It
How To Cut The TV
How could he have possibly cut down his television into two pieces without breaking the glass? Such a task called for duct tape. With this, he managed to avoid shattering the plate of glass and conducted a clean cut instead. A Reddit user event pointed out that it would be easy to release fumes or carcinogenic particles when one cuts a TV set. This was where the duct tape came in to protect the face of the screen.
How To Cut The TV
The Side With The Camera
This photo does not show us what the front of this iPhone looks like. However, it sure seems like he got his hands on the best tools for the job. When he was cutting down the device, he wanted to make sure he got to keep the side where the camera is. Sadly, Laura received the short end of the stick when it came to this communal phone. Well, it is not as if she missed out on anything since we are sure neither halves of the phone works at all!
The Side With The Camera
Split The Seat
Now, how about the chairs that he managed to break right down the middle? He had to use two different cutting tools for that task. He knew that a power tool can help with the preservation of the treated wood, but it would not cut it for the seating on the chair. Eventually, he simply grabbed a regular box cutter and used it to his liking. Many people were impressed by the efforts he put into the project, although some doubt its authenticity…
Split The Seat
The Truth
Did that sound too good to be true to you? Well, it might be because it truly was. We all hate getting duped, but the campaign did make us chuckle! Apparently, the eBay and YouTube accounts had been nothing more than a marketing ploy for an attorney’s office specializing in divorce. “With traditional advertising, we hardly ever reach people these days,” explained the firm in an official statement. We have to admit they sure caught our attention in “an entertaining way”!
The Truth